I am regretting this because i missed an opportunity, and not for the first time. Because I was afraid. I have always been after young girls, and without success so far. But once in a while (actually not more then 2-3 times in my life) did one of these girls i had an interest into, seem to be interested back. More then once, I found myself paralysed with fear, not believing this was actually happening. It was happening, what I'd wished for for so long, but I didnt want it to happen anymore, as if i was not ready to handle it. So I pretend everything is ok, I pretend she's not looking my way. I am afraid to change, it's like waiting for a train for days or weeks (sitting on a train station bench), and then being too afraid to step on the train when it finally is here. The worse part is that I dont know if that train will ever come again, and if it will... will I dare to ride it anyway?